Where’s the beef?

January 28, 2019
January 28, 2019 Margaret


 All this talk about us having to cut back on beef to save the planet made me think of burgers and summer and the grá we Irish have for this American, now Irish, favourite.

Every August Monday we run a parish fund-raiser and every year a burger stall is a welcome part of the mix. My job for the last couple of years has been organizing the accompaniments table – the lettuce and ketchup and mayonnaise and whatever you’re having yourself to dress said burgers.

It was a very interesting experience watching people create their tasty tiers. It wasn’t long before I realized just how fussy we all are when it comes to this kind of dressing – me included. Ketchup, yes, mayo, no, not there – on the bottom bun, lettuce, yes, but not that much…  Talk about precision. Talk about finicky! It was all such a revelation that I had to write a poem about it.  I like a funny poem.  Read it aloud, with feeling,  to really get the flavour of it.


 They all had their own way

Of doing it

Dressing their burger

Hot field-day fare

As sun beat down

Tannoy crackled

And Wheel of Fortune spun

They queued

To add cheese





Be particular about

What they put on

No point in eating it

Unless it was right

Tickled their tastebuds

Satisfied their hunger

For flavour

She watched them layer

Build the bap

From the bottom up

No slapdash arrangement

The order important


Be particular

Saw mothers deftly dressing

While fathers had to ask

Each child

Bun burgers

Works of art

Perhaps bad for the heart

But hitting the spot

Who gave a jot

When the day it was hot

And hunger it had to be fed

So they layered and arranged

A squirt there

A blob here

Perhaps mustard in the middle –

It was well worth the fiddle

So teeth could be sunk

Into the perfect combination

Experience the delectation

Of their burger being

Just So.

 ©Margaret Hawkins 2018

P.S. I’m putting all the poems together soon into a collection – and other bits and bobs that might give people a smile – or a sigh – I hope.  I will keep you posted.


If you have any questions or queries please do not hesitate to contact me